In this Brexit year of 2020 when clarity of purpose and vision should have been the watchwords our eyes have been blurred with tears of sadness because of the loss of loved ones.
The world has been afflicted by the Pandemic of Coronavirus which, at the time of writing, has claimed the lives of more than half a million souls worldwide.
One of the greatest tragedies of this loss is the fact for many relatives they have not be able to say goodbye to their friends or family nor share that grief with others.
In a less enlightened times of the 50’s I too was prevented from saying goodbye to my Dad as he passed. This regret left me with a deep longing and sadness and led me to write a book A Voyage Without My Father.
I have therefore written this poem as part of the book to offer solace and at some point, in the future, when the anguish of separation lessens, a way to overcome this emptiness.
To allow us to travel back in our imagination to stand before those that have passed to express our love and to assure them, they will be remembered.
I could not hold his trembling hand, nor mop his fevered brow,
I could not see the nurses fight, the virus that continues even now.
And when the dreaded moment came and their life ebbed slowly away,
In isolation my sobs rang out, no comfort from others on that fateful day.
I was not allowed to visit the ward and say my last goodbye,
No relatives gathered around me to stem the tears I cry.
Covid has robbed me of the chance to say that I love you Mum,
To thank you for your guiding hand and, that I’ll see you in the time to come.
You’ll never see your grand kids grow, but your memory will not fade,
I’ll tell them stories of who you were and of the fun when we played.
In this moment of grief and pain that I fear will never diminish,
I’ll try and silence the regret I feel that I was not with you at the finish.
But still I cannot mourn you properly to honour the years gone by,
No friends at your funeral to story tell, no eulogy to draw a sigh.
How will this feeling of loneliness pray on my mind and wellbeing?
To accept the reality of the fact that your voice no more I’ll be hearing.
My heart beats in unison with those that have suffered this loss,
For me too when I lost my dad emotions were frayed and tossed.
So, in these pages of my life, of my loves, my fears and of growth,
May you find comfort in the stories told and utter a solemn oath.
To discover how to resolve regret so that is does not stay too long,
And know that comfort and solace can be found in the lyrics of a song.
Now, stop a moment and remember not the pain and sorrow that you now feel,
But close your eyes take three deep breaths travel to them so that you may heal.
By uttering the words, you want to say even though you are physically apart
In this magical world of your imagination, the conversation will gladden your heart.
It will allow those feelings that hold us back like shock, denial, ire,
To melt away and leave instead acceptance, love, and a desire
To live our life as they would want no more to be steeped in sorrow
But awaken with a new vision of life a brighter and better tomorrow.